| | so this year has been a year of discovery for me - discovering that living in southern california (orange county specifically!) wasn't so bad, discovering that i can make friends outside of my own context, discovering i enjoy ministry even without the safe and comfortable context of my college, discovering kogi owns me... and discovering all the ways that my stunted emotional self is truly at a loss when it comes to loving and shepherding others (aka uncovering the ways that i am a robot!).
[as adam anderson wondered aloud once, why are so quick to trust our thoughts (often quoting jeremiah 17:9: "the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" as a case against our feelings) when paul in romans chapter 12 tells us that we must be "transformed by the renewing of our minds"? our minds are equally fallen and in desperate need of redemption. let's not overspiritualize intellectualization here. and i know - my mind immediately goes to - several instances i've hurt others because i've tried to help without connecting with their hearts first. ]
i'm not saying this in a bad (read: condemning) way; God's still created me as a fixer, a problem solver, a strategist (sort of), and to love truth so as pursue authenticity especially when it's uncomfortable. i'm excited. i think, in a way, crying more actually makes me laugh more. it helps me linger. it helps me be more fully present (another personal value) wherever i am.
it's also actually helped me learn a lot about my strong intuitive side (so strong, so compelling big-picture that i am really bad with details... like notes my housemates used to write to me in huge letters).
anyway, all this is to say, i was so excited when pastor justin buzzard posted a review of matthew elliott's book feel. elliott is pretty much the preeminent scholar on emotions, particularly in the new testament.
in this tome he asserts:
- Emotions were given by God to drive us to our best.
- Emotions are among the most logical and dependable things in our lives.
- The true health of our spiritual lives is measured by how we feel.
interesting, right?
well, i just started, and i hope to synthesize more thoughts (ha, ha) soon, but i really enjoyed this part from chapter 2:
"In my search... one of the great revelations about emotion was so subtle, so natural, that I almost missed it entirely.
The Bible talks about emotion just like we do in everyday conversation.
There is no special category for "Christian love," that agape kind our Christian leaders like to talk about - intellectualizing an emotion into a philosophical ideal. Love, hope, joy - and even hatred - in the Bible are not just lofty ideas and concepts; they are feelings and emotions, just as we know them in our own lives and talk about them with our families and friends.
There is a great example of what I am talking about in Romans 12: "Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God's people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you. Don't curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don't be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don't think you know it all!"
... Commands to love and to be in prayer and to be joyful and not to be lazy are all jumbled up together. In the midst of a plea to keep our spirits boiling passionately, Paul tells us to have great empathy for others, to feel what they are feeling. If we are going to be enthusiastic in serving God, we had better feel others' joy and pain as if it were our own.
It occurred to me that our spirituality is all about how we are feeling - whether we are feeling life or are numb to it. If we are not feeling as we should, something is really wrong with our relationship with God.
... I wondered at all the sermons I'd heard and if I'd ever heard a pastor say, "Feel!"
Without any qualifications.
Without any theological rhetoric.
Without any attempt to redefine the word.
Feel!
I wondered how I'd react if I went to church one Sunday and heard, "God is telling you that next week you should filled with happiness and good cheer; you need to give genuine, warm hugs every night to your family; and if something really bad happens to a friend in the church, you need to be over at their house crying with them. No, I don't mean dropping by a card and a casserole for dinner, your Christian duty. I mean entering into their pain and really crying with them."
Paul is that preacher. And that is what I learned from him in Romans. To him, a Christian's emotional life is all rolled up in and with and around how we should behave and how we should think. For Paul, it's no different to say "cry with the grieving" than to say "don't lie." Duty is there, but not devoid of passion and emotion. It's all one." (p. 23-25)
(i love the passage he quotes so much. it's one of my favorites.)
here's to hoping i'll understand the people around me better, particularly my sister. :)
hope you're well!... i head to colorado in one week! wow.
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| | Posted 6/9/2009 11:37 PM - 7 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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